Aku Mulai Ingin Hidup Berumah Tangga

Hingga saat ini saya belum memutuskan untuk memilih pasangan hhidup. Di sekitarku banyak pemuda menarik hati, mungkin mereka juga tertarik padaku. Tetapi aku sering bertanya-tanya, banyak orang bilang aku ini cantik, tapi kenapa tidak satu pun ada pemuda yang melamarku? Apa harus aku yang melamarnya?

Suatu ketika teman dekatku cerita, katanya rekan-rekan kecewa karena aku tidak hadir pada acara pertemuan rutin. Katanya tidak semangat kalau aku tidak hadir. Berarti mereka menyukaiku? Kenapa tidak menyatakan cinta padaku?

Banyak yang bilang, cowok jaman sekarang aneh. Banyak berulah, tapi penakut.

Mungkin itu benar. Tetapi, memang tidak semua dari mereka aku suka. Dan, sayangnya, yang aku harap tampak kekanak-kanakan, belum ada tanda-tanda serius untuk menikah. Mereka tahu nomor HP-ku, WA-ku, juga FB-ku. Kalau memang tidak berani bicara langsung, kenapa tidak inbox di FB saja?

Orang tua kadang bertanya sudah ada calonkah aku. Aku bingung untuk menjawabnya. Apa diri ini termasuk wanita yang tidak baik untuk dijadikan istri? menarik untuk dijadikan hiburan saja, dilihatin saja?

Atau aku memang masih belum cukup dewasa dan belum waktunya untuk hidup berumah tangga?

Sofia was Six Years Old

I don't really remember the moment as I am about 20 years old now. I didn't have any idea at that time to write the story of my life. I didn't think it was important. I was just a girl who lived in a village without any good education, no book to read, no library. As  like the other kids, I spend my time playing with friends almost the whole day.

The event I do remember and will never forget it was that Tuesday night. "It was eleven," my aunt told me. I was sleeping at that time, but something woke me up. It was my dad and my mom were fighting. I was crying. I was scared. I didn't understand about the anger between them. As I knew, dad and mom were great lovers: both loved me so much. That time, hey were others.

My aunt brought me to her house. I closed my face on her shoulder. I didn't cry anymore, but my mouth get stuck. I could say nothing. I was so confused. I felt losing every thing. As I was falling down from the sky and being in a place I never knew. It was like the whole world had changed.

Since that time I was a thinker. I spend my days thinking and questioning about everything. I felt that I was nothing, not in this world anymore. It was a new life. I didn't recognize my mom and dad anymore. They had died. They were nothing.

Mom and dad were separated. They got divorce. My soul was full of fear. My aunt was the only one who cared of me. I spent my times inside her house. I didn't want to see anything. I didn't want to meet friend. I just got out when my aunt asked me to follow him, but I mostly refused.

My aunt gave me lots of snacks as I always refused to eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I just ate if my aunt forced me.

"She was a great women, she was a heroine."

I didn't really pay attention on her story. But, the word "Heroine" stuck in my mind. I thought, if I were a heroine, I could fly like birds. But, now I understand that I didn't want to be able to fly, I just anted to flee this planet as a heavy problem burden my soul.